WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.
Hello, writerly friends~ ♥︎
You asked for a Writing Advice Masterpost, so here it is! Below you will find a collection of the best questions and answers from the last two years. Not only that, but they are also organized so you can find the answers to your questions quickly and get on with writing.
But wait, there is more!
This post is more than just a collection of advice, it’s a nexus for writing advice, resources, and information! That’s right, this post is going to grow over time. I will be updating this masterpost WEEKLY with new answers, writing advice videos, playlists, and more! So, make sure to bookmark this page and follow my blog (maxkirin.tumblr.com) so you don’t miss a thing~ ♥︎
Writing Advice Compilations
- WRITERS UNITE! A book of writing advice, inspiration, and tips! Written with the help of 248 Tumblr authors. FREE DOWNLOAD!
- Daily Story Seed
- Daily Weird Prompt
- Daily Character Question
- Your Writing Horoscope (Retired)
- "Can I publish a story based on one of your prompts?"
Virtual Writing Academy
- Episode #01: Writing An Intense Scene
- Episode #02: Fleshing Out Characters
- Episode #03: Writing An Engaging Story
- Episode #04: Writing Different POVs
- Episode #05: Writing A Compelling Antagonist
- Episode #06: Writing Things You Have Never Experienced
- Episode #07: Writing About Someone Who is Different Than You
- Episode #08: The Harsh Reality of Being a ‘Hero’
- Episode #09: Senses And Details
- Episode #10: Improving Dialogue (Without Writing Dialogue)
- Episode #11: A Fun (And Silly) Exercise
- Episode #12: The Secret Ingredient for Original Stories
Motivation & Inspiration
- Daily Writer Positivity
- How to Finish Your First Novel (M. Kirin’s Origin Story)
- What Confidence Is and Is NOT
- How to Regain the Motivation to Finish That Book
- "I’m afraid writing is a waste of time"
- "I’m half-way through this book and I’m stuck"
- Stop Trying to Impress People
- Stop Trying to Make Your Parents Proud of your Writing
- Your Parents Disapprove of Your Writing?
- You’re Not The Worst Writer In The World
- English Not Your First Language? Neither is Mine
- A Tip for All Young Writers Worrying That Nobody Will Take Them Seriously
- Dealing with Hate and Harsh Criticism
- You Need to Develop a Thick Skin
- Neil Gaiman’s “Make Good Art” Speech
- Feeling Down About Your Writing? :c
- Elizabeth Gilbert’s Inspirational Speech on the ‘Genius’
- Neil Gaiman’s 8 Rules of Writing
- "I am not as good as other writers" (and other lies)
- The 7 Cardinal Rules of Writing Life
- Be A Little Delusional
Planning, Outlining, and Getting Started
- M. Kirin’s (Strange) Guide to Planning Your Novel
- M. Kirin’s Click-n-Drag Story Generator
- Which outlining method is the best? (Video)
- "I want to write a book but I have no idea where to start"
- The Story-Idea Test
- M. Kirin’s Secret for Starting books, and Finishing Them
- M. Kirin’s Top 3 Tips to Start Writing and Never Stopping
- The 10-Minute Writing Trick
- Tips for writing Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Paranormal
- How Much Worldbuilding is Enough?
- M. Kirin’s #1 Tip For Improving Your Writing
- Let’s Talk About: Show VS Tell
- The Difference Between Character & Plot (The Marcy Rule)
- M. Kirin talks about authentic dialogue
- The grammatical side of dialogue
- How do I write numbers in dialogue?
Editing & Revision
- M. Kirin’s Top 5 Revision Tips
- How to Love and Care for Your Beta Readers
- M. Kirin’s (subjective) secret recipe for the second draft
- When is the best time to edit a story?
- M. Kirin Talks About Editing, and Speeding Up Your Story
- M. Kirin Uses Evernote to Revise Books
- "Kill Your Darlings" VS "Cut What You Love"
- Writing Killer Plot-Twists and Mystery Novels
- "How long is a Rough Draft compared to the Finished Draft?"
Hot Button Issues
- Realism is a dirty word
- Racist & homophobic language in fiction
- Inaccuracy in Fiction (Video)
- M. Kirin drops a few bombs on ‘creative vocabulary’
- "I want to write but I don’t have the time"
- Is it bad to have too many LGBTQIA or POC characters?
- "My antagonist is POC/LGBTQIA, is this bad?"
- "All my characters are LGBTQIA, is this bad?"
- When to let go of a story
- Is it rational to be afraid of what people will think of you?
- Let’s Talk About: Deus Ex Machina
- Let’s Talk About: Coincidence in Writing
- Let’s Lightly Talk About: Plagiarism & Copyright
- Writing About Things You Have Never Experienced
- "Do you need to go to college/university to be a good writer?"
- My book is similar to something already out, what do I do?
- M. Kirin’s Cure For Writer’s Block (and Life Block)
- Overcoming the First Sentence
- Overcoming the First Sentence, Again
- Overcoming the First Sentence, Redux
- The 10-Minute Rule
- Making Boring Scenes FUN to Write!
- Stories are like children
- Let’s Talk About Titles (And Then Talk Some More)
- M. Kirin Reveals the ‘Secret’ Behind Style
- How much description/scenery is too much?
- How can I write faster?
- I want my readers to love my characters
- I think my book may be too short for my genre
- My story doesn’t have an Antagonists, should I add one?
- I killed one of my main characters by mistake, what do I do?
- M. Kirin’s Writing Advice for Fleshing out Romantic Relationships
- A warning about character names and meanings
- Help! My characters are not doing what I expected them to!
- Help! My characters are misbehaving! D:
- A warning about character sheets
- A talk about the beauty of first drafts, and pacing
- Is getting attached to your characters… bad?
- A note on Antagonism, and whether you need a villain or not
- Past or present tense?
- Is swearing okay? And other muthafuckin’ truths
- "What emotion do you find hardest to write?"
- "What writing software do you use?"
- Communication, a must for collaborative works
- Researching illegal things, cousin? I got just the thing for you!
- Joss Whedon’s Top 10 Writing Tips
- M. Kirin’s Tarot Cheat-Sheet
- Writing Tips for Storytelling in Video-Games
- Fair Use In Novels (by thedancingwriter)
- Let’s Talk About: Pen Names!
- Let’s Talk About: Reactive VS Proactive Characters
- Let’s Talk About: Transitioning Smoothly From Scene to Scene
- Let’s Talk About: Writing The Climax (& Resolution)
- Let’s Talk About: Writing The End
- Let’s Talk About: Spies
- Let’s Make a Title (To A Story You Haven’t Finished)
Writing Music & Playlists
- Writing In The Dark (Relaxing, Unobtrusive)
- Writing About Love (All the Feels)
- Writing & Fighting! (Super Intense!)
- Writing About Horror (Welcome to Lavender Town)
- Royalty And Noble Blood (Medieval Writing Playlist)
- Digital Reality (Cyberpunk/Futuristic Playlist)
- Lost In The Wild (Survival/Nature Playlist)
- No Hero (Danger, Action, and Anti-Heroes!)
- Mermaid Magic (Sunken Cities, Sea Monsters, and Magic!)
- Music For Writers: Portal 2 Soundtrack (FREE)
- M. Kirin’s Writing Playlists: Ravensgem
- M. Kirin’s Writing Playlists: Justine’s Blood
- M. Kirin’s Favorite Music to Listen to While Writing
- M. Kirin’s Secret For Making Playlists
Last Updated: 09-20-14. Click HERE to see the latest update. Latest posts are in Italics.
how do we even decide what our favorite colors are, are our brains just like “i like green because yea”
Women boxing on a roof, circa 1930s
THIS IS LITERALLY THE RADDEST PHOTO I’VE EVER SEEN
ARE YOU KIDDING
can we talk about those cute as heck outfits though
Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.
THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING
"How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"
I want to be this rich and indifferent one day
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.and vodka